30 YEARS IN

Sauvie Island pumpkin patch

2011-10-18T19:11:00.000-07:00

Our forth 4th of July in Portland

2011-07-05T12:35:00.000-07:00

A magical day of sunshine, friends and a few of our own little traditions.

7-2

2011-07-02T19:49:00.000-07:00

A family walk over to the PSU farmers Market for lunch. A run. Strawberry milkshakes with berries from our yard, slugs, potato bugs, snails, mud, sprinklers, corn and sausage, popsicles, and a good bath. The best memories with these little faces covered in sunshine.

I am enjoying my summer

2011-06-26T21:08:00.000-07:00

cloudy beaches, short naps, messy ice cream... it really is magical.
Love the identical fake smiles.

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T13:31:00.000-07:00

Sauvie Island: Pick berries, hay ride, eat lunch, fall asleep.

Happy Fathers Day. We love you Daddy!

Date Night

2011-06-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

I made this (one of my new favorites) and brought it with me to enso last week. Every other week I'll be chilling at enso one night a week with Ryan, watching him do his thing, looking around at people enjoying rosé in the sunshine, and stealing a few moments in between to hang with Ryan. It was wonderful.

summertime

2011-06-14T08:51:00.001-07:00

sneak peak

2011-04-27T21:12:00.000-07:00

When the sun shines bright, all of Portland is pure magic. The rain has been so constant this spring. The daffodils and tulips are everywhere and the cherry blossoms are painfully beautiful but the sunshine is a tangible breath of tranquility.

When the clouds open and the spring wind is still, we run to the grass covered spaces. The boys peal off layers of boots, coats, sweaters, jeans, undershirts and socks. Until at last their little boy bodies basque in the sweet sunshine and drink in all its refreshing goodness and we all laugh with delight and what we have waited all winter for. Spring is pointing to summer.

these are the moments

2011-04-26T13:20:00.000-07:00

these are the moments I look for. When the sun peeks out from behind a cloud. When I can hear my boys laughing and see them playing... together. When I take a deep breath and remember to be thankful.

my friend brooke

2011-04-25T21:05:00.001-07:00

I am grateful for her.

family portrait

2011-04-06T09:55:00.001-07:00

A gift from my sister.

2011-01-04T13:43:00.000-08:00

No words could collect and express the deep feelings of joy I see when I look at these, pride in my sister and her amazing talents and skills, and gratitude for the gift she gave us when she captured these moments... Luckily, no words are needed...

More images on the boys blogs...
My sisters website is here and if you are in CA, I would highly recommend booking her!!! Jess, I am deeply grateful for this gift.

Merriment

2010-12-22T23:03:00.000-08:00

I am thoroughly enjoying this holiday season. I have been enjoying my boys so much. Watching them play together and laugh together. Quiet, restful times. Family visits and trips to anticipate. Baking together. Crafts. Good news for Ryan's company. It's all been so sweet to me. Merry Christmas!

bandol and rabbit

2010-12-14T14:35:00.000-08:00

tanksgiving 2010

2010-12-14T14:29:00.001-08:00

Timberline Lodge, Mt. Hood

2010-12-14T10:04:00.001-08:00

untitled.

2010-12-02T16:51:00.000-08:00

“I beg you to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” Rainer Maria Rilke

I love this face

2010-11-10T19:30:00.000-08:00

Phil and Jenna

2010-09-21T09:54:00.000-07:00

We had no idea what we were getting into when these people moved into our basement apartment this last spring. They were only here for the summer and I got a good vibe form them but other than that it was a craigslist shot in the dark... WE SCORED BIG.

Phil and Jenna have been not only really great tenants but they have become new friends. They truly are fabulous people and we are so lucky to have gotten them as neighbors for as long as we did (which want very much time at all). They move out this week and we will miss having them so close but we are stoked to hang out together more and more! I love you guys and I wish you much happiness and pinball where ever the jobs send you next!

Sauvie Island

Farmers Market

Home-made guacamole and salsa, mojitos and grilled fish...was it fish? I cant remember I just remember the first 3 things. Ha!

Belmont Street fair.

lake siskiyou 2010

2010-08-30T20:24:00.001-07:00

home from vacation...

2010-08-30T09:45:00.001-07:00

2 family vacations, and camping... wow, that was a whirlwind of new favorite memories and some I'd love to forget as well...(travelling with little kiddos will do that!) A great time. Good to be home. More pics coming soon.

myself

2010-07-28T08:29:00.001-07:00

summer camping

2010-07-12T19:56:00.001-07:00

A beautiful weekend at Timothy Lake. The kiddos did great. We forgot our bedding but Trav and Jean had extras to spare. The afternoon was warm enough to swim and the mornings and evenings just right for coffee and campfires. A great trip. One of many we are looking forward to this summer! More camping with friends and family trips ahead.... cant wait!

sauvie and sunshine

2010-06-08T17:19:00.000-07:00

Our old neighbors and friends from SF are in Portland this week (we missed you Roy). It was great to catch up and even get a little sunshine... and berry picking in! A beautiful day spent with some beautiful people.

6.2.2010

2010-06-02T07:50:00.000-07:00

deep friendship.

2010-05-16T21:16:00.001-07:00

Rarely in life do friends like this come. The kind that love you. The real you, despite bad days and hard seasons. The kind of friend that loves your kids and your kids love back. I trust her more than most people I know. She knows me well... somedays better than I know myself. She makes me laugh and often she's the one listening when I cry. She reminds me of who I am and who I want to be. She is one of the most generous people I have ever met. She is kind, real, honest and has a depth to her that makes really knowing her a sincere privilege. Few people are as lucky as me to have a Betty in their lives... I know this. I dont take this privilege lightly. I am grateful. Deeply grateful.

I've had a hard time embracing this next season of life for them. As excited as I am to see them move forward in their life dreams... knowing they will not be here has been very emotionally challenging for me. I will miss them. I will miss my rock of a friend. I know I am not losing a friend. But I will miss days like today. A day where Betty took the day off work to come with me to get my first tattoo and to sit in the backyard sunshine with the family and drink beer and play chase and tell fishing stories to Pax and have an impromptu delicious dinner.

As I write this with tears running down my face. I reflect on how good life is. It's hard to accept change. It's hard to let people go (even when you know they will visit often). Most of my close friends are far from me... I have learned in my adult life to drink in my time with them and know I am so lucky to have each of them. I embrace the moments we can share. I will wait for those again.

ink

2010-05-16T21:05:00.000-07:00

My enso.

I am not Japanese or buddhist. I however find this symbol and the meaning behind it as very profound and beautiful. I painted this enso for myself. The below definitions of enso are what resonated with me in a way that drew me to my tattoo. I have always loved circles and many of my painting have held them as subject. I found this concept of the japanese word meaning "Circle" perfect for expressing what I wanted.

from wikipedia:

In Zen Buddhist painting, ensō symbolizes a moment when the mind is free to simply let the body/spirit create.

...it shows the expressive movement of the spirit at that time.

...It symbolizes enlightenment, strength, elegance, the Universe, and the void...

As an "expression of the moment" it is often considered a form of minimalist expressionist art.

(the enso) is often used by Zen masters as a form of signature in their religious artwork...

The principle of controlling the balance of composition through asymmetry and irregularity is an important aspect of the Japanese aesthetic: Fukinsei (不均斉), the denial of perfection.

green

2010-05-11T21:10:00.001-07:00

Spent most of the day in the garden with my boys... all of them. It was perfect. Planted a bunch of seeds and starts. Veggies and flowers. Can't wait! More pics coming soon.

love it

2010-05-10T13:16:00.001-07:00

So yesterday (mothers day) we decided to enjoy the sunshine... and Portland. We drove to the water (even though we could have walked there, and next time will probably just do that too). And then we walked over the Hawthorne bridge and along the Willamette in the beautiful warm spring air.

We walked to one of our favorite coffee shops, shared a pastry and cappuccinos.

Walked back home.

And then spent the rest of the day in the backyard. Planting our garden, pulling weeds and cleaning the yard. D and B spent the afternoon and evening with us which was just perfect. My favorite part of the day was when Pax and I sat on the back steps eating ice cream after his nap. He turned and looked at me (unprompted) and said "happy mothers day mama". Love it. He later told Ryan that was his favorite part of the day too... although Im sure it had something to do with the fact that we were eating ice cream... who can blame him?!

Happy day to me... and hopefully to you to.

love it

2010-05-08T20:58:00.001-07:00

I bribed pax with a gummy worm, to sit on the couch with remy. I love that this is what i got. Boys.

little loves

2010-04-29T21:46:00.000-07:00

California.

2010-04-11T21:40:00.000-07:00

We had the privilege of driving down to surprise my Dad on his 60th birthday for an amazing night with the family!

my mom

2010-03-03T15:59:00.000-08:00

My mom is incredible. I am so thankful for her. She loves my boys and they love her. She can quiet any crying baby... so obviously thats amazing!!! But I really enjoyed her being here...and just that. It was so good to see her and take walks and talk about life and laugh hysterically. I had such a great time. Mom- thanks for finding a candle and putting it in your cookie in the kitchen with Pax and letting him sing to you while I was nursing Remy. It was just one of the many ways you read my mind while you were here and made life that much easier and memorable. I love you.

That's one tastey cookie.

2010-02-19T10:23:00.000-08:00

Go here for the recipe.
We didn't do the food dye (too messy with a toddler chef). We also passed on the nuts, but I'm sure they would be yummy with. You could use 1/2 the frosting they suggest and we found smaller cookies were better than larger. But they were soooo delicious!

my first TED (i know im late to the game)

2010-02-16T10:43:00.000-08:00

If everyone could be so lucky...

2010-02-15T14:40:00.000-08:00

Hood River for Ryan's 33rd Birthday.

The boys.

I have the most beautiful friends. They really know me and still love me. They love my kids (understatement). They listen to my stories. They make me laugh harder than anyone. They inspire me. I am beyond thankful for their presence in my life.

I'm a lucky girl. I love the man that I married. And he loves me too.
There is no one else I would choose to journey though this life with. He is passionate, crazy, tender, intense, silly, intelligent, risky, full-throttle, beautiful, mysterious, sensitive, and a million other things.... And he's mine.

Encaustics

2010-01-29T17:46:00.001-08:00

So this is the beginning. Here are my first 2 encaustics. I'm selling them to raise money for the series I will be starting soon.

A Little Lost, 2010
encaustic on wood panel
8″ x 8″

Somewhat Found, 2010
encaustic on wood panel
8″ x 8″

morning thought

2010-01-20T10:08:00.000-08:00

From my grandmothers journal, a quote from John W. Gardner in the book Recovery of Confidence

"Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure, and separates the victim from reality."

Another book

2010-01-16T20:39:00.001-08:00

Just finished this one. A short read. Beautiful words. Deeply thoughtful. I'd say more but I'm tired. Perhaps a quote tomorrow.

found.

2010-01-09T17:24:00.000-08:00

Currently my favorite corner of the house is this...

Ryan found this light globe on the side of the street and knowing that I've wanted one for a long time he jumped out and grabbed it. It now sits in the corner by the couch on some old suitcases of my great-grandmothers given to me by my parents. Love it.

a good start

2010-01-08T14:08:00.000-08:00

So I just picked up Tolkiens "The Hobbit" last week and finished it this afternoon. I first read it about 10 years ago. Such a good read. It was wonderful for me to start the year with something fun and a bit magical and to read it so quickly, much to my astonishment! So, I want to spend more time reading this year and less time watching filler TV (although some of that will just happen, and I'm ok with that too). Now on to something else.

the other day.

2010-01-04T19:06:00.000-08:00

31

2010-01-01T15:31:00.000-08:00

A wonderful birthday with the man I love, 2 great boys and really great friends.

Nativity

2009-12-24T15:29:00.000-08:00

A hogde-podge nativity assembled from the goodwill today. I love that they are not all matching and from the same set. It seems right. Although Joseph and Jesus are from the same set... I'll need to paint Joseph or something.

so yummy and totally addictive.

2009-12-16T13:50:00.001-08:00

we made this last week and it was amazing! I got the photo and recipe here.

Google Search....

2009-12-09T09:51:00.000-08:00

So this morning I am looking online for an image for a project I'm researching... My search is for "hand over heart" and this is what I find:

I kid you not this is from a legit website that outlines CPR to animals! You should read the bird CPR!

"Hold the mouth shut with one hand, and place your mouth over the BIRD's nostrils and mouth making sure the seal is tight."

I needed that morning laugh with my coffee.
Thank you google.

Happy Holidays.

2009-12-01T15:08:00.000-08:00

Drink some nog and be merry.

Changes Come

2009-11-17T17:29:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how far a little gratitude can take you. This was me about a week ago... on a hike, watching Pax and my mom play, staring down at my belly... missing my ankles.

It was only a matter of hours after my last post that my water broke. And from there only a few more until Remy entered the world. It was way more intense than last time. I know I forgot and even romanticized some of Paxtons birth but this time was in fact different. Bigger baby, faster labor and different baby... just different.

But alas with the support of Ryan, my mom and Betty as well as the midwife and her great assistant, Remy was born at 4:04 am last Saturday in our dining room. I cant express how glad I am to have that experience (labor) in the past. Everything went really smoothly though and I am so thankful for that!

Since then life has flown by and also seemed a bit like slow motion. Remy is our mellow little guy so far. Very different from our Pax experience! Remy is pretty quiet. He is a GREAT eater and sleeps pretty well too. He likes to lay on a blanket by the heater naked or be swaddled up tight and snuggled close. I am so thankful for his chill temperament. At this season in life, a low-key personality is very welcomed.

We have had family and friends in town since Remy's arrival which has been so wonderful! Helping hands, extra naps, meals prepared. We have been loved on and enjoyed time with people we love.

Now I am a mother of two. Listening to Alexi Murdoch as I type and feeling teary at how good life is in this moment. Truly.

My days are full of these beautiful moments and memories. Pax loving his brother. Touching his head gently. Pax playing chase with Ryan (or anyone willing!). Remy sleeping on Ryan. Little fingers and toes. Quiet moments and laughter bouncing off the walls. Friends, family, food, wine, sleep, autumn air.

gratitude.

2009-11-06T17:47:00.000-08:00

A friend offered some words of wisdom earlier today that have been resonating with me all day. She said, "You know people (myself included) always talk about what to do to bring these babies into this world physically speaking, but so much of life is mental. I've found what opens me up to progress and more good is gratitude. Deep thoughtful gratitude. Focus on all the good around you, and I bet it will lift your spirits and maybe some other movement as well!"

That said... I really am grateful. Here are just a few of the reasons...

1. Ryan. who tells me I am beautiful and does the laundry (and a million other things) and tickles Paxton (and is such a great daddy). I love him. I am in love with him. I even like him!
2. Paxton. My beautiful son. Constantly constant, so full of energy, mixed with love and sensitivity beyond what any mom could hope for. Wow, I am so thankful for him.
3. Betty and Dan. I am beyond lucky to have friends like them who love me and share life with us and make me laugh so hard. Thanks for dinner last night too!
4. My mom who flew up here to be here for me, for the birth, for Pax, to clean, to cook, and to be a reminding presence of calm! I love her.
5. Autumn. My favorite season. There are beautiful colors everywhere I look. The weather is cold and the chill in the air gives me a reason to bring out my scarves and drink hot drinks and eat pie and other yummy things sweet and savory. The rain is cleansing and warm air inside is cozy.
6. Ryan has been playing the piano recently. It really comforts me and speaks to something deep inside of me. I love hearing it. Every time he sits down to play, I breathe more deeply. Magic.
7. I have amazing friends...including my family. These friends have made me feel so loved and cared for in the recent months...even weeks... and have made me laugh at life and myself...which is much needed.
8. preschool. Pax loves his school. His teachers are amazing. He loves his friends there. The parents are really amazing and I am already thankful for the friendships I am making because of his friends. The time I have to myself or with Ryan to work, or sleep or grab coffee has been priceless but watching him run in the classroom after giving us a kiss goodbye when we drop him off, to go sit with his friends in the circle and sing songs is my favorite part! He loves it.
9. Rest. This month has been so full of rest. I've slept so much this month... naps with Pax. And I didnt realize how much my body needed this! We havent had any visitors this month either (whom we love, but can also take some additional energy from time to time). The additional space and quiet has been a needed thing for my soul. The evenings Ryan and I have had together have been so needed. I love having him to myself!
10. contentment. Despite having a hard time waiting right now... I really do feel like life is so good. Ryan and I are really connected. Pax is in such a good space. He is fun to be with and I love who he is and who he is becoming. Sharpseven is doing well and business is picking up a bit more. I love where we live. Portland, SE, this house, all of it. This place is good for us, good for me. I feel a sense of peace with myself and life as I know it right at this moment. I know this is something that can come and go rather quickly, so I am so thankful for this season of life, be it short or long!

self portrait and a walk

2009-11-03T20:40:00.000-08:00

So this is my self portrait... Looking down...

This will give some perspective if you were confused by the above shot... this is me sticking my butt way back so I can see my shoes...barely.

We walked up Mt Tabor this evening. It was so beautiful. Bethany, my mom, Pax, Ryan and I. Hopefully Remy will join us on a walk like this soon from the outside!

making applesauce...

2009-10-24T19:25:00.000-07:00

to you, every random stranger I encounter everyday...

2009-10-17T16:57:00.000-07:00

Answers to your questions:

Yes, anyday. (kind of true being the actual due date is Nov. 5th but I cant handle the addition comments if I give the date for a few weeks from now. Things like, "wow, your so big already")
Nope, just one. (this one makes me angry, I'm not that big)
A boy.
Remy.
Thanks, we like it.
Nope, our second.
Paxton, he's 3.
Yes, he's excited.

Now, that you know, please stop asking. I'm hormonal and I don't want your random opinions/commentary on anything really. PS I can hear you over there across the room saying "OMG she looks like she's going to pop any minute." I mean you were staring at me as well, so that also gave you away!

ahhh

2009-10-12T11:33:00.000-07:00

Snapped this on my phone last week. I love fall. The forecast all week is rain... I love it! The leaves outside the windows are all beginning the change, now to snuggle in!

somewhat unbelievable...

2009-10-11T13:33:00.001-07:00

3 years ago today...

2009-10-08T09:44:00.001-07:00

the men in my life

2009-10-06T19:37:00.001-07:00

My most favorite people.
I love these guys and I'm so excited to have one more. I am the luckiest girl in the world.
Thanks to my sis for the pics!

a glimpse of this summer

2009-10-06T19:34:00.000-07:00

sorry if you were here this summer and are not included in the pics. Some photos are on Ryans computer or you took a photo when you stayed here and you have yet to email it to me! Thanks everyone for visiting. It has been so much fun catching up with old friends and developing new friendships as we go. Have a wonderful fall. Now we rest.

late summer early fall faves

2009-09-24T13:12:00.000-07:00

my favorite apples: honeycrisps, are now in season! The tomatoes are beautiful in our yard but the pregnancy doesnt agree with them at all so my eyes have been feasting on them instead. Ryan has been brewing delicious beer that I have a tiny sample of from time to time. It's completely perfect to sit in the back yard with one of his beers. We even had a pumpkin grow through the fence from our neighbors yard. Cooler weather here we come! AHHHHH! Fall is my favorite.

seriously?

2009-09-02T18:13:00.000-07:00

he's mocking me now...

snacktime

2009-09-02T16:06:00.000-07:00

tomatoes from the garden... yum!

cousins meeting

2009-09-02T09:56:00.001-07:00

So, my sister and her fam were up visiting last week. It was really great to have them here, show them Portland and where we live! It was also fun to have all the boys together. Her 2 little guys and Pax were hilarious to watch all running around together. More pics of that coming soon, Jess is a photographer so there will be some fun shots guaranteed. But, all that to say, we are both Pregnant, me 7 months and her 5 months. I gave her some temporary tatoos and she shared them with me for these funny and somewhat disturbing shots! Cousins 4 and 5 right there...

PS: Molly, turns out I'm your biggest fan these days... I dont mean largest, but I guess that works too. It's such a comfy shirt I just cant help myself...

a date

2009-08-30T11:27:00.001-07:00

belly.

2009-08-19T19:18:00.000-07:00

new creations

2009-08-05T15:21:00.000-07:00

Here are a few of the little playful pieces I've been creating out of recycled fabric. I started making them for friends who had recently had kids and then kept going since they really are fun to make and make me laugh a bit and take my self less seriously. So, that said, I'm now making more to sell. Here are a few..

"hoot hoot" 6x6, $35 + shipping

"elephant poop2" 6x6, $35 + shipping

"two chicks" 6x6, sold

My friend Betty

2009-08-03T10:09:00.001-07:00

I could really go on and on about my friend Bethany. She is one of those wonderful friends that makes me laugh, really listens to me, makes me feel better, loves my child, Pax loves her back, and she is just one of those people that everyone loves the moment they meet. I am so honored to call her a friend and I love her dearly. We got a little night to ourselves a couple weeks ago when the Indigo Girls were playing at the Oregon Zoo. It was so much fun. We managed to find some great seats in a completely packed out grass amphitheater and listened to 2 hours of some of our favorite songs. It was so much fun. I love you Betty and I'm glad we live close to one another again!

the belly

2009-08-02T19:02:00.000-07:00

I'm finally got over a virus I've had for the last week...ugh.
Feeling better and its finally cooling down too...yippee!
So, here he is. Bigger and bigger every day.

HOMESPUN 2

2009-07-21T08:36:00.000-07:00

It was a ton of fun playing music again. The cobalt season stuff was a blast. Our friend Molly was in town and not only played some amazing tunes but has become a really good friend. Its been so much fun having her here. Adam also popped in for a couple nights and shared some of his poetry at the house show...always beautiful and moving. Then we had a great couple nights with all of us here laughing and enjoying being together... and thanks to Dan for taking such great pics!

Recent Works - starting a new series called Life and Death

2009-07-16T09:56:00.000-07:00

"Even Death Itself" (oil on window and wood)

"New Life" (acrylic and mixed media on found wood)

process

2009-06-25T12:32:00.000-07:00

I have too many thoughts in my head these days... I feel a bit stuck. I need to create art and process more of my thoughts and feelings before clarity will return.

I am reading two books, in book clubs, that require a lot of thought processing from me. I am really enjoying them both and being challenged by each in unique ways. They have also prompted many discussions leading back to the enneagram, that have been fascinating and enlightening for myself and friends around me.

Also, my grandmother passed away a little over 2 weeks ago. I hesitate to say much here. I think I will do most of my processing of her and her intense peace in death and incredible 93 years of life through my art. I'll post that as it emerges. I loved her very much and her passing has impacted me deeply. Here is a beautiful photo my sister took of her with my mom in some of her last days.

allium

2009-06-10T20:21:00.001-07:00

sitting on my doorstep tonight. No name. Just a gift. There's more to the story but I'm not much for storytelling these days...

New work

2009-05-29T08:37:00.001-07:00

"learning rest" (9.5 x 8, sold)

"uncovered" (9.5 x 8, sold)

"simplicity" (9.5 x 8, sold)

I've been appreciating spring this year for what almost feels like the first time. The air feels fresh and alive and patiently waiting for nature to unfold itself into beauty everywhere has been a discipline with such breathtaking rewards. I am enjoying the dirt and thankful for the worms. I am drinking in the sun and thankful for the rain that falls in between the growing warmth. It seems more necessary to me in this point of life to be outside and really take notice of these things so the business and chaos of life doesn't consume my thoughts or myself. It is so easy for me to get lost in a million different things but the practice of spring has been giving life to my soul.

a great week.

2009-05-22T20:40:00.001-07:00

A good week with good friends. I love these people.

Bloom

2009-05-16T13:31:00.000-07:00

This is the first Spring I have paid so much attention to the blooms around me. The Roses were here when we moved in. The crimson clover was just supposed to be ground cover good for the soil but is now so vibrant and the poppy's and other seeds are sprouting and opening to the sun. It is so beautiful this week. I am thankful for this last weeks rain and now enjoying all the hot sun that makes these creations grow.

a moment of weakness

2009-05-07T09:32:00.001-07:00

So, we were at Ikea the other day. It's one of those places that I have to constantly remind myself "I don't need that, or that." We have the same rule with Pax, but this last week, I let that slip. He picked up this alligator and started saying, "it's so cozy" "I love this one mama" "this one toy is kinda special to me" and after watching him snuggle on the floor of Ikea with it and tell the alligator that he loved it, I caved.
We've been interviewing midwives (baby doctors as we call them around here) for the last two weeks and had our last interview that day, so as a treat he got to keep the alligator adn bring it home. On the way home we asked him what he would like to name it, he says it's a girl and her name is cookie pie.
Cookie Pie has been going almost everywhere with us since. He sleeps with it, snuggles it and just generally loves it. So, I'm glad I caved. It's really sweet to watch.

It's snowing pink blossoms...

2009-04-29T11:45:00.001-07:00

my sis

2009-04-21T19:04:00.000-07:00

I love my sister. She is so beautiful, so talented, so generous and tender-hearted. She is an amazing mother, a great friend and a wonderful sister. I love her dearly and am so thankful for her. I got to spend a few beautiful moments with her, David (her husband) and her adorable kiddos as we came back from Paris and recuperated in the bay area a bit.

She took this pic of me and Pax and a bunch of others in Santa Cruz this last weekend. She is an incredible photographer! Thanks Jess.

Paris

2009-04-08T06:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Ryan and I celebrated our 8th anniversary. Wow. 8 years gone by. I am one lucky girl, really. I love you Ryan!

And we used this enormous bottle of Champagne to celebrate Betty's birthday coming up and make Bellinis. We love you Betty!

over there,

2009-03-29T23:25:00.001-07:00

more photos of this last week on Ryan and Paxtons blog.

Andalucia week 2

2009-03-28T08:54:00.000-07:00

Rock of Gibaltar

Rhonda

Rhonda wine.

pics...

2009-03-21T00:41:00.000-07:00

are uploaded on Paxtons blog, here.

Spain is beautiful.

2009-03-17T12:31:00.000-07:00

I heart Spain.

2009-03-16T11:46:00.001-07:00

Pictures coming soon. And a trip to Morocco tomorrow!

the last couple days

2009-03-12T12:42:00.000-07:00

a small oil painting I did the other day inspired by a photo of Jasper rock from my friend Michaels book.

Ryan and I went out on a date last night, thanks to Lolly for hanging with the sleeping boy. It was good fun and good funny. Ryan blogged it all here. We leave for Spain the day after tomorrow!

another beautiful day in paris avec rain

2009-03-08T13:02:00.000-07:00

Lora offered to watch Pax a couple hours this morning so Ryan and I could meander around town and enjoy the open market, the atmosphere, and one another.

I loved these pics I was able to grab of Lolly this evening before we all headed out for a stroll. She is so beautiful!

We walked to a chocolaterie that unfortunately was closed so we ended up at a great little cafe. It was magical evening. Craig and Lora's friends Kate, Trin and Becky have been visiting the last few days and it has been so much fun spending some time with them as well. Pax just loves them too! Pax had a yummy apple tart and our waiter was awesome.

Kate and Trin (who ran a 1/2 marathon this morning), and C & L.

Paris with a toddler

2009-03-08T04:46:00.000-07:00

this trip has already been so much different than any other big trip we've taken. It all just takes on a different flavor with Pax. I'm glad he's on this trip with us and I'm so glad we have friends and family joining us along every part of this adventure.

Lora and I, and Lora and Craig.

Sacré-Cœur

2009-03-08T04:28:00.000-07:00

Inspired and tired

2009-03-04T09:10:00.000-08:00

So, we finally arrived in Paris. Pax did well, until last night but you can read his blog to hear more about that. I am glad to be here and to be with friends. Ahhh, Paris!

I was inspired by my friend Michael's book he showed me the other day on our way down to SF called "Within The Stone". It was a book of beautiful abstract images of rocks, up close. Each image was accompanied by beautiful poetry. The images looked like paintings I would love to own/create. ... So while visiting with Michael and other friends at the Sea Ranch I took photos of the cliffs along the rocky coast and some amazingly beautiful driftwood. I would love to do some paintings at some point inspired by these photos I took there.

p.s. Sara I did fit those paints in!

blog schmog

2009-02-25T20:53:00.000-08:00

So, I've been a bit preoccupied and haven't blogged in a while. We have been working our tails off finishing jobs and starting others and packing bags. We'll be gone for 7 weeks. Wow. We are so excited. In other ways it's hard to leave for such a long time. I have packed the ultimate-flying-with-a-toddler bag. And I am ready for take off. I am looking forward to seeing Lora, Craig, Ryan's family, Dan, Bethany, Adam and maybe more. It will be the trip of a lifetime. I am also looking forward to reacquainting myself with some of my favorite paintings I saw with Lora last time I was in Paris. Here are two of them...

this one I feel is self-explanatory. I think it looks like my style... at least a bit. I love it.

This one might make you scratch your head...hmmm... but I love her. I love the line of her nose and I love the colors and loose brush strokes. Ahhh, Becha.

And, so I have been painting more as well. Small things. But I cracked out the oil and I have been experimenting with it. I love it. I also have realized at this point in my life how much I love the space where black and white meet. I love the blending of the contrast. Love it. Subtle color, and space.

number 1. Not sure if its done or not but I like it... a lot.

number 2. Also dont know if it's done. Love it as well.

Finally here is a shot (albeit, a bad one) of a painting I finished a month or so ago. It's old wood, scraps of paper from the streets of SF and a gathering of trees inspired by a cluster of trees overlooking Portland. It's the first time I used resin. I'm not in love with how this painting turned out but it means a lot to me.

So there, Trav. This post is for you. Cheers and au revoir.

there's a story to this...

2009-02-12T14:09:00.001-08:00

Ryan transcribed this beautiful poem on our dining room wall (video here) that our good friend Adam wrote (probably about a year or so ago) when we were touring together with The Cobalt Season. Adam tells the story here.

I painted the windows... I am very attached to trees right now... I dont know why. There is something drawing me there, pulling m in. I have also been experimenting with different mediums lately and what exactly I love about painting... These are not my favorite pieces I've ever completed but I feel they are important steps to take, for many reasons right now.

I have so much to learn.

I do love it though. The feel of the paint. The way it moves. The colors, alone, and blending together. The palette knife. The brushes. Thick texture. Thin textures. Layers. Transparencies. All of it. The trick for me is to find my voice amidst it all. Embracing it as my own and letting it speak it's own voice all at the same time.

long overdue

2009-02-11T20:51:00.001-08:00

Tonight I pulled out the oils that have been waiting patiently for over a year now for me to find them again. I opened the tubes, and moved the pigments... it was life giving. I'm not sure that I love what I made, but I loved the process... good for my soul. Plus Ryan and I finished his birthday bottle of wine tonight... wow, delish. Photos to follow soon. Bon Iver still playing non-stop.

That's right...

2009-02-11T09:48:00.000-08:00

we made a marionberry/blackberry pie for Ryan's bday. It was super top yummy.

The better version of myself...

2009-02-06T11:42:00.000-08:00

• exercises everyday (or something close to that) ... and has more self-esteem
• reads books (more than 1 a year on vacation) ... and feels smarter
• is learning something new (like French)... and feels like she has something to contribute
• drinks less coffee and wine ... and feels better in her body
• is working on meaningful projects (with S7) ... and feels productive
• paints at least once a week ... and has a healthy sense of identity
• keeps up with close friends ... and feels connected
• does something good for herself on her own each week (like artist dates) ... and feels independent
• puts things away ... and feels more organized
• takes the time to sit and just play with Pax ... and knows she is a good mama
• makes love more often ... and knows she is very loved by Ryan (sorry if that was too personal for any of you)
• prays ... and feels more grounded
• flosses her teeth daily ... and has healthy teeth and no cavities
• isn't afraid all the time ... and lives a more confident life

I could go on and on.

Really for me, I think it comes down to sheer laziness. Now granted, life can be very tiring sometimes... for all of us... in different ways. But, I have to acknowledge that this list is the better version of myself. And if I could snap my fingers and change into this person all the time, I would. Why is it so hard to be the people we know we want to be? I'm trying to take things off this list and slowly work them into my life... we shall see how this goes...

spinning

2009-02-06T10:22:00.000-08:00

My current minds playlist:
Bon Iver "Skinny Love"
Bon Iver "Re: Stacks"
Postal Service "The District Sleeps Alone Tonight"
Sun Kill Moon "Neverending Math Equation"
Over The Rhine "Long Lost Brother"

There are others as well, but those are just on constant rotation. I've had these songs stuck in my head for over a week now... It's not really the lyrics, although I like them all. It's something about the tones and rhythms. They are speaking to me.

meeting new people...

2009-02-01T21:59:00.000-08:00

...is sometimes very hard for me. Like today. I would rather not.

more abundance than you ever wanted

2009-01-31T16:24:00.000-08:00

Due to comments on my previous post... I thought I would expose the true abundance I miss and really wish it would return to me!

recognition of abundance.

2009-01-27T18:46:00.001-08:00

6:45 Pm in our house. Pax is laughing in the bath with Ryan.

This album playing in the background. Brings some of my fondest memories to mind. Distant friends, Octobers in New Mexico and autumns across the country, late nights with laughter and drinks, much good music shared. Pilgrimage, adventure, life and love.

Now I sit with the smile of one who knows they live an enchanted life. I know beauty. And now I drink in Ryan's new stumptown stout... ah... I am one lucky girl.

creative play

2009-01-24T20:51:00.000-08:00

so, these pictures aren't the best... but Lora was inspired while here in craft-mecca Portlandia and she purchased a bunch of thrift store sweaters that we cut up. She created some fabulous trees...amazingly beautiful. I went more cutesy. I know a lot of new mamas, almost mamas and almost second mamas so, I thought a child-like subject might be more appropriate. I love em. Good times. Perhaps I will make more...

Lolly and Holly

2009-01-23T16:02:00.000-08:00

A bit risque, I know. But Bethany took these pics of Lora and I on my birthday and I love them.

Lora flew up to visit this last week. She is one of my closest friends and I love her dearly. She relaxes me, She asks great questions and is a wonderful listener. She is dry and sarcastic and she knows me well. We lounged around. Laughed a lot. Walked to a bunch of vintage stores. Lots of coffee. Lots of wine. And of coarse made some good artistic creations. (more pics to come)

a few more from Napa

2009-01-15T12:37:00.001-08:00

a deep breath of recognition

2009-01-12T20:57:00.000-08:00

I started painting again tonight. I started after a long long sabbatical. Ryan cleared out space in the guest room and gently nudged me to my easel. It has been waiting for me. Gathering dust. I have a whole collection of things I have collected from the streets of my old city, scraps of peoples lives, pieces of San Francisco. I have a whole collection of canvases, old pieces of wood discarded by neighbors and construction teams. These two elements are what will make my next series... I started two of these paintings last year...I think (maybe even before that). It was while we lived at 18 Fair. I never finished the pieces, much less the collection. My inspiration evaporated and I let them sit amidst all the transitions this last year has held. S0 tonight, in an open space in a somewhat empty room. I held a glass of wine, and a paint brush. I peeled back the layers of myself and connected once more with something that I believe is part of who I am at the very core. A creator. I remembered good friends while I painted. Painting is always a deeply emotional and personal experience for me... which is why I don't always do it. But tonight was a good night for remembering. Remembering who I am, what I love to do, and remembering friends who help me live into that...