30 YEARS IN

A friend offered some words of wisdom earlier today that have been resonating with me all day. She said, "You know people (myself included) always talk about what to do to bring these babies into this world physically speaking, but so much of life is mental. I've found what opens me up to progress and more good is gratitude. Deep thoughtful gratitude. Focus on all the good around you, and I bet it will lift your spirits and maybe some other movement as well!"

That said... I really am grateful. Here are just a few of the reasons...

1. Ryan. who tells me I am beautiful and does the laundry (and a million other things) and tickles Paxton (and is such a great daddy). I love him. I am in love with him. I even like him!
2. Paxton. My beautiful son. Constantly constant, so full of energy, mixed with love and sensitivity beyond what any mom could hope for. Wow, I am so thankful for him.
3. Betty and Dan. I am beyond lucky to have friends like them who love me and share life with us and make me laugh so hard. Thanks for dinner last night too!
4. My mom who flew up here to be here for me, for the birth, for Pax, to clean, to cook, and to be a reminding presence of calm! I love her.
5. Autumn. My favorite season. There are beautiful colors everywhere I look. The weather is cold and the chill in the air gives me a reason to bring out my scarves and drink hot drinks and eat pie and other yummy things sweet and savory. The rain is cleansing and warm air inside is cozy.
6. Ryan has been playing the piano recently. It really comforts me and speaks to something deep inside of me. I love hearing it. Every time he sits down to play, I breathe more deeply. Magic.
7. I have amazing friends...including my family. These friends have made me feel so loved and cared for in the recent months...even weeks... and have made me laugh at life and myself...which is much needed.
8. preschool. Pax loves his school. His teachers are amazing. He loves his friends there. The parents are really amazing and I am already thankful for the friendships I am making because of his friends. The time I have to myself or with Ryan to work, or sleep or grab coffee has been priceless but watching him run in the classroom after giving us a kiss goodbye when we drop him off, to go sit with his friends in the circle and sing songs is my favorite part! He loves it.
9. Rest. This month has been so full of rest. I've slept so much this month... naps with Pax. And I didnt realize how much my body needed this! We havent had any visitors this month either (whom we love, but can also take some additional energy from time to time). The additional space and quiet has been a needed thing for my soul. The evenings Ryan and I have had together have been so needed. I love having him to myself!
10. contentment. Despite having a hard time waiting right now... I really do feel like life is so good. Ryan and I are really connected. Pax is in such a good space. He is fun to be with and I love who he is and who he is becoming. Sharpseven is doing well and business is picking up a bit more. I love where we live. Portland, SE, this house, all of it. This place is good for us, good for me. I feel a sense of peace with myself and life as I know it right at this moment. I know this is something that can come and go rather quickly, so I am so thankful for this season of life, be it short or long!